Relationship Has Become Nightmare.

Relationship all over the world has become nightmares,  but ,it is often said that in order to cure a disease completely you need to address the root cause and not the symptoms of the disease.

Working on successful relationship is one of the most life skill we can learn if we cannot maintain lasting relationship, we will always struggle to be happy .Fail relationship are one of the highest causes of stress and unhappiness in life. The reason why relationship fail have been identified in detail here,

It is no longer news that love relationship often undergoes failure everyday of our personal life.  In fact ,the failure rate of love and marriage these days are quite high. According to statistics provided for every one new relationship that is established at  least two old ones are experiencing breakup everyday incredible, but it’s true one would want to examine the various reasons why these relationship fail.

A few reasons that comes to mind as highlighted mostly we are not considerate when dealing with others our egocentric and pleasure often make us take a decision that are selfish and self-serving.In serving one self ,we begin fantasize about a perfect EX PARTNER but a (PERFECT PARTNER) is not known to human existence .what we usually get is an imperfect partner managing another imperfect partner imperfect way, similarly , you can’t predict all occurrences, but  safe relationship habits will certainly diminish the likelihood of you finding yourself in a fail relationship.

 

Too Much Too Soon.

It may be very funny telling someone I love you on the first date, planning your retirement together  or talking about “us” or “we”  prematurely . This applies too much pressure and not planned but done because you suddenly  want to do it. And fun from the early stages . In our present world  where trust is scarce. Such rush gives a wrong impression of you being a smooth tongued liar.

You should never be the first in a relationship with a guy to “ I love you “ . That’s his job . most  girls have done it and regretted it , especially when they don’t hear  “ I love you too  “ in return .This gives him much less work , once you have said it , you can never take it back. Make sure the guy is in love with you before you utter these three words  “ I love you” you will be better off for it ,believe me. Hold off for a while until you know each other better.

Everything that exists in our universe, undoubtedly has a time frame including love. Don’t be too quick to establish yourselves as a longstanding couple when you have known each other just a few weeks . Wanting to pin someone down too quickly to see if he/she is “committed” is like trying to insist cabin crew should serve you their delicious vacuum-packed fare during takeoff. Give it a chance.

Silence.

For one to be voiceless in a relationship means inability to express your feeling to your PARTNER. Believing your partner should read your mind, and know what you want without you ‘’ communicating” clearly. “ If he/she really loves me , they’d know what I need and give it to me “ . Many believe that if their PARTNERS really loved them, they would read their mind, it wouldn’t be necessary to actually ask for what they want.

This is one of the most serious mistakes people make in relationships .Without openness and communication, no relationship can flourish. Effective communication, however, can be a skill you may feel that you, having repeated yourself a thousand times, you have communicated. There are available communication techniques which, in and of themselves can save your relationship.

Not only is it necessary to know what you want and to ask for it clearly ( without producing guilt) it is also necessary to be able to accept either  YES OR NO believing it’s your PARTNERS.

 

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Nagging.

Nagging means to repeatedly find fault, complain and constantly annoy another person. It’s one of many tools people try to use to control other’s actions. Nagging can become a vicious circle. The more you nag, the more your partner avoids you or withdraw both emotionally and physically from you .There are many negative effects that nagging can cause in a relationship, whether that relationship is parental, marital, dating or friendship.

One of the detrimental effects of nagging is festering a better resentment in the person  being nagged. The constant feeling that nothing is ever good enough, that nothing is acceptable , and that nothing they do is right can wear on a person overtime .The aggressive tone of nagging on things that shoudn’t be done can produce the opposite effect of what we desire . Trying to force someone to stop doing something they either enjoy or want to do, makes  them not only feel controlled but as if their free will was given up by being in this relationship’

They, in a sense, feel as though they are losing their own identity and being forced to become what the other person wants them to be.

How to stop nagging.

  • Don’t insist that a task be done on your schedule.
  • Remind your partner that it’s better to decline a task than to break a promise.
  • Assign chores based on personal priorities.
  • Explain how you feel not how he/she is wrong.
  • Make the distinction between “This is how it has to be “and ‘’ This is how I’d like it to be .
  • Never sound judgmental in your speeches.

Mistake Repeatedly.

Often times, you can make the same mistakes ,as you made in your previous relationship that gave you stress and you keep wondering why and what to do . It is absolutely necessary to identify which aspect of your behavior irritates your EX PARTNERS , So as to make amends , Your PARTNERS repeated mistakes may be a function of your own misbehavior.

Transferring   such behaviors to the next relationship will yield the same result in this regard, you must do the following.

  • Identify your mistakes and learn from it.
  • Abstain from having ‘’dysfunctional features’’ that match characteristics of someone with whom you had a past destructive relationship.
  • Know your behavior and try to change them.
  • As questions: it is extremely important for you to repeatedly ask yourself , ‘’WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT THIS INDIVIDUAL ‘’ ? Does what I know about EX PARTNER fit what I want in my life ?
  • As about their hopes, dreams, fears, and worries.
  • Ask about past relationships , hobbies, interest, friends and as many facets of that person’s life as you can think of .
  • Speak about yours also .Do not be over secretive.

Time heals your wounds but reflection and action will heal your past hurt and prevent the same thing from happening again.It’s not enough just to make a list : there has to be a moment when you face up to your past negative experiences to help you move on to better things.

 

Assumption And Lack Of Trust.

Most people throw away good relationship and cause themselves great damage by failing to tackle their own inability to trust. Trust is usually difficult to find when either of the partners has been hurt in a previous relationship but never let your past cast it’s shadow upon the future. Trust is an absolute essential between partners it doesn’t matter whether you are talking about being faithful, sticking to promises or spending within what you can afford or anything else.

If you can’t trust your EX PARTNER you will never be happy .Picking a fight or making assumption whenever he/she talks opposite sex or not taking your calls brings bad feelings which cause your irritation ,frustration ,anger and accusation .But if it is not well handled it may cause domestic  violence in the relationship .Avoid verbal abuse which comes in all forms starting from the most easily recognizable insults like “bitch/bastard” .

Of cause , there are lots of reasons why you can’t trust someone ,it ranges from hunches track record of being untrustworthy person , previous cheating on you , Does the memory of that betrayal  affect the way you behave in your relationship  ?  keep in mind that not every EX PARTNER is unfaithful but unreasonable assumption is enough to drive about every man/woman out of your life and into a relationship with someone else.

 

 

Lack Of Confident Or Low Self-Esteem.

Lack of confidence and low self-esteem go hand in hand when talking about inferiority complex .In an everyday scenario, when an individual is suffering from this condition, EX PARTNER can become shy and timid. Being or feeling inferior feeds on the constant need to find approval for  decisions taken and a general  feeling of unworthiness. When  EX PARTNER begins to believe that EX PARTNER is not capable of doing  certain things in life does not have the will power to fight through those feelings and keeps degrading himself/herself all the time, the person keeps suffering from physiological condition. Iet affects the relationship badly as the person cannot express his/her true feelings of love or complaints various reasons why a partner feels inferior to the other.

1.Negative remarks while relationship grow.

2.Educational and professional  setback.

3.Discrimination against gender.

4.Reception of opposing views.

5.Physical  shortcomings or inadequacies.

6.Religion.

7.Sexual  orientation.

8.Criticism for every little thing.

9.Past humiliation.

10.Age difference.

 

Lack Of Communication.

Talking to your EX PARTNER boosts the relationship and reduces possible tensions. Communication is one of the most important factors that help the relationship to grow.Every  relationship needs to be nurtured for it to grow with time.

Lack of communication in relationship leads to misunderstandings, bottle-up tension and unhealthy relationship. Communication in a relationship is important if you want your loved ones to be with you all your life and for this to happen, it is important to express your feelings to them and let them know what they mean to you. Today , in our daily hectic schedule we forget to pay attention to the needs of our loved ones.

We are so engaged in our daily chores, that we start taking our relationship for granted.Communication is the only way for two people to know each other and understand the mind of each person. It also conveys the love, passion and all other  feelings one holds for the other , it is worthy note that communication is different from quarrels.

Take time to explain your points to your EX PARTNER with love , lack of communication is equally a destructive element in a relationship.Effects of it in a relationship are such that it make the bond of relationship weaker by creating doubts and disrespect.It is better to discuss and sort out your problems in any relationship instead of living in ambiguity and suspicion.

According to psychologists  PARTNER  who feel  lonely and isolated tend to withdraw from social activities and are emotionally vulnerable , the consequences of lack of communication are such that it affects the whole personality of the human being, and it also affects EX PARTNER    professional and social life.It also  observed by human behavior experts that relationships with good communication not only last longer but people in such healthy relationship seem to be happier than people stuck in unhealthy relationship.

So express yourself to your loved one, talk about the problems in your life, share your deepest fear and secrets with each other and cherish the best moments of life together ,it will make you come closer and will make your bonds stronger.

Keep secret away from your partner .

Everybody has a secret; something about them that they never want anyone to find out, in general , secrets are inevitable and everyone will have something to hide at one point or another. Secrets help a person maintain a certain sense of individuality and uniqueness; make them feel distinct from everyone else.

However , keeping secrets can take a turn for the worse when they start to take control of your life .This means that the keeping of secrets has led one to a SECRET LIFE or the maintenance of a façade that revolves around this hidden facts. When you bear too many secrets that they cannot be revealed to anyone , it results in negative effects for the bearer.

Also, you need to tell more lies to cover the initial lie, thereby running into a web of lies keeping secrets from the EX PARTNER is a mistake many people make in a relationship not minding if he/she finds out, when you finally crack. She/he may not be very impressed, nor would you be impressed if it was your EX PARTNER who turned out to have been acting out of character all along.

Secrets and unrevealed realms in life can make your EX PARTNER feel poles apart and unattached. If your PARTNER really loves you , she/he will also love the good and odd aspects about you. Tell your partner the good and odds of your life, but note, if she/he really loves you she/he will accept you that way.

Another adverse effect of keeping secrets is that they can ultimately destroy relationships with family, friends, spouses, and another people you may deem important in your life. Some secrets have been kept for so long and have been carried on through a façade that when it gets out it takes everyone by surprise and eventually hurts certain relationships. Secret affairs , illnesses, addictions or past actions can all have this effect.

In so many extreme cases, the loss and depression that the keeper may feel over these ruined relationships may even lead to suicide just to be able to escape the very heavy consequence. It is advisable to open to your PARTNER .communication is key here, if you can’t tell her/him any and everything freely, you are building on a weak foundation. Talking to your EX PARTNER boosts the relationship and reduces possible tensions. Communication is one of the most important factors that help the relationship to grow.Every  relationship needs to be nurtured for it to grow with time.

Lack of communication in relationship leads to misunderstandings, bottle-up tension and unhealthy relationship. Communication in a relationship is important if you want your loved ones to be with you all your life and for this to happen, it is important to express your feelings to them and let them know what they mean to you. Today , in our daily hectic schedule we forget to pay attention to the needs of our loved ones.

We are so engaged in our daily chores, that we start taking our relationship for granted.Communication is the only way for two people to know each other and understand the mind of each person. It also conveys the love, passion and all other  feelings one holds for the other , it is worthy note that communication is different from quarrels.

Take time to explain your points to your EX PARTNER with love , lack of communication is equally a destructive element in a relationship.Effects of it in a relationship are such that it make the bond of relationship weaker by creating doubts and disrespect.It is better to discuss and sort out your problems in any relationship instead of living in ambiguity and suspicion.

According to psychologists  PARTNER  who feel  lonely and isolated tend to withdraw from social activities and are emotionally vulnerable , the consequences of lack of communication are such that it affects the whole personality of the human being, and it also affects EX PARTNER   professional and social life.It also  observed by human behavior experts that relationships with good communication not only last longer but people in such healthy relationship seem to be happier than people stuck in unhealthy relationship.

So express yourself to your loved one, talk about the problems in your life, share your deepest fear and secrets with each other and cherish the best moments of life together ,it will make you come closer and will make your bonds stronger . Talking to your EX PARTNER boosts the relationship and reduces possible tensions. Communication is one of the most important factors that help the relationship to grow.Every  relationship needs to be nurtured for it to grow with time.

Lack of communication in relationship leads to misunderstandings, bottle-up tension and unhealthy relationship. Communication in a relationship is important if you want your loved ones to be with you all your life and for this to happen, it is important to express your feelings to them and let them know what they mean to you. Today , in our daily hectic schedule we forget to pay attention to the needs of our loved ones.

We are so engaged in our daily chores, that we start taking our relationship for granted.Communication is the only way for two people to know each other and understand the mind of each person. It also conveys the love, passion and all other  feelings one holds for the other , it is worthy note that communication is different from quarrels.

Take time to explain your points to your EX PARTNER with love , lack of communication is equally a destructive element in a relationship.Effects of it in a relationship are such that it make the bond of relationship weaker by creating doubts and disrespect.It is better to discuss and sort out your problems in any relationship instead of living in ambiguity and suspicion.

According to psychologists  PARTNER  who feel  lonely and isolated tend to withdraw from social activities and are emotionally vulnerable , the consequences of lack of communication are such that it affects the whole personality of the human being, and it also affects EX PARTNER   professional and social life.It also  observed by human behavior experts that relationships with good communication not only last longer but people in such healthy relationship seem to be happier than people stuck in unhealthy relationship.

So express yourself to your loved one, talk about the problems in your life, share your deepest fear and secrets with each other and cherish the best moments of life together ,it will make you come closer and will make your bonds stronger.

 

 

 

 

 

Force your partner to do things in your own way .

Life is the totality of a person’s routines and habits, two of the basic ingredients that contribute to a persons lifestyle .Treating your new partner like a project that you need to work on ,like something that must improve is disrespectful and can make the person feel you don’t appreciate him/her who he/she is,or even know him/her well.

So many believe that they can and attempt to change their partner, it’s only a matter of time, some say “if he/she loves me enough he/she will change that small thing to please me” But to your partner that “small thing” is not small , Even if they do try to change to please you, very often, they become resentful.

When  you try to change them ,they feel you don’t really love them ,you are probably trying to turn them into someone to feed your needs. The fact is that you don’t ask people to change even if they want, sure,they can modify their behaviours,but they can’t change their personality. Suppose you are naturally  tidy, I mean really not behaving in a tidy way and your partner is not ,being irresponsible, football-lover, Workaholic, Shy or easily stressed.

What will you do? If you can not live with all these characteristics don’t get involved. Don’t embark on a relationship with someone,hoping you can cope with the trait or try to change it. Trying to change it can make both of you miserable. I know no one is exactly perfect , everyone can be Irritating habits are worth putting up with, not for someone who you can mould to you taste or lifestyle. They might keep the behavior in check for the first few months or years, but sooner or later when the euphoria wears off and the stress of normal life returns , they will go back to their old ways, As the saying goes  “character is like a pregnancy , in a little while it begin to show.